Mentoring & Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

There are few things enjoyable in life as the imparting of wisdom from one person to another.  The capability of any of us to teach, guide, enhance or mentor another is the hallmark of a society continually growing and flourishing and providing a forum for growth, ingenuity and innovation. The thirst for knowledge is a primary sustenance of our life force as much as food or water. Show me a person who no longer wants to learn and I’ll show you a person resigned to become stagnant and let the wonders of the world pass them by.

I dare say not many exist.

I’ve had the pleasure to be on both sides of the effort continuously in my life. At work we have a great program that has been in place for a few years now, the Mentoring Program. I’ve been lucky enough to be a Mentee and the experience was so helpful that I wanted to give back, as many of my fellow employees do, and become a Mentor. Going on my third round, I still find it exhilarating and the level of engagement from both Mentees and Mentors never higher. The program has been so successful that it has spawned others such as the Reverse Mentoring program and satellite ones in other Employee Resource Groups.  The current one I am in, Phase 16, is unique to me as it is my first virtual partnership. But though we are separated by 530 miles (almost the same commute I have to work!) the sessions have been both productive and learned on both sides. I’d like to think that even Mentors or Teachers can always learn from their Mentees and Pupils and this phase has strengthened that process for me.

One important facet of continuous learning and one that was delivered as part of the Mentoring Program is the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). We often think of intelligence getting us far at work or in life, i.e., what degree you have, what is your experience, what technical skills do you have or how well do you read or write.  While these are important, the numbers of people that are book smart yet fail to achieve success in life or work is palpable enough to warrant a serious look at why these failures occur. In most instances it’s due to the EQ of the individual being low and not recognized as an important facet of a person’s make-up. EQ simply put is about being “heart smart” and helping you build strong relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your goals. It is the ability to understand, and manage your emotions in positive and constructive way and engage with others knowing how their emotions affect yours and how you address them in mutual understanding to form agreements and partnerships.

Why do I bring this up? We know that our business environment continues to become smaller in that we deal with employees and customers around the world as much as we deal with someone sitting right next to us. This brings a new attitude shift in how we deal in different situations and customs that beg for a high level of emotional intelligence that portends success and growth. This is a vital part of a mentoring relationship that can bring rewards to both the Mentor and Mentee as they discuss and work on honing the skill of EQ. Have it be part of your working partnership – discuss the various methods and capabilities of engaging in a high EQ environment. One possible way you can work with your Mentor/Mentee is go through the 5 levels of EQ:

• Level 1: The ability to quickly reduce stress.
• Level 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions.
• Level 3: The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication.
• Level 4: The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.
• Level 5: The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.

I bring this up as this is as important to the success of an individual as it has ever been in this time of transformational change in the global business landscape. And a Mentoring Program is a great way to engage in that dialogue. Even if you are not in a formal program you can still create mentoring partnerships on your own. As I mentioned everyone is thirsty for knowledge and you can create ad hoc mentoring partnerships or circles if you reach out. And build in the dialogue for emotional intelligence to help build successful working relationships and your own personal growth.

Good luck on your teaching or learning journey!